My Thanks to My Beloved

To my dearest,

I am very grateful for having been blessed with these human beings in my life. For you the first teacher I loved. You were very friendly and smiley. You were good at telling stories and always made the class very exciting. You were very considerate. Maybe I wasn’t a flashy and eye-catching student enough for you to remember, but I always remember you, remember your face, your voice, and your laugh. You were a drop of water when my heart was dry with love at that time. I miss you.

For you my childhood friend. I always remember you. Even though the day we met was very short, it seemed like we had been friends for a long time. We were always together everywhere. You were very sociable and cheerful. I miss when we studied together but didn’t worry about anything. Now you will become a doctor. I’m always proud to have been your friend.

For you my little best friend. My first pen pal. We often exchanged letters. I wish I could still find those letters. I want to remember all the things I had said to you. Because of you, my childhood was not so lonely. Years later when I met you again, you were still the cheerful woman I know. You were still as precious to me and always be.

For you my teenage best friends. When I was close to you, I felt it’s okay for the whole world to be against me, as long as there was a woman with a warm smile came to me and worried about me. You were always like a shining star. The magnetic field felt strong around you which made many people wanted to be close to you. Even though your behavior was sometimes annoying, you could always be trusted. You are always precious to me, forever.

For you, someone with whom I can talk a lot. Our meeting didn’t last long. But I’ve known you for a long time. I heard stories about you, about your persistence. Someone I really wanted to get close to. You’re the first person I thought I might be okay with if I spent my whole life with you. I’m sorry for what happened then. One day, you would understand why I acted like that. Even so, you are still an impressive person to me.

For you, someone special since the first time we met. You were the one who explained your standing position from the start. You came to me and believed in me. You made me slowly remove my social barrier. You helped me to accept myself as I am and all of my past. You always asked how I’m doing and made sure I’m okay. The time I spent with you was the most enjoyable thing of my adult life. But you also made me feel trapped. Trapped in my dreams and illusions. I know when I saw you differently, I had to force myself to stop immediately. But I got scared. I didn’t want to lose you. You are too precious for me to keep away with force. Thank you and sorry for thinking this way.

For you my sister. It never occurred to me to be close to you. Although sometimes it still feels awkward when talking to you. Maybe because your personality was friendly but hard to approach. Or maybe because I was afraid to lose you when you knew me completely. And talking to you was still my favorite part. I could learn different sides of humans, with the experiences you shared. But on the other hand I also felt guilty for my life when I remembered your story about what you did during college. I was in a dilemma.

For you my neighbors. Knowing you guys who had completely different personalities, opened my mind to many things. There was her who was talk active, considerate, possessive, and often worried about other people. There was her who talked to the point, but were compassionate and warm-hearted. Because with you, my life is full of care and not too lonely. Thank you for accepting me as your friend. I am grateful to have known all of you that I have mentioned above. I make this writing as a form of me accepting my past and accepting you as a part of my life. Maybe some of the story will change its plot in the future. Never mind, this is how I feel right now.