Diary-Stories

Friendship Between Three People

Yesterday I had a chat with two of my friends. We talked about other people. We also talked about ourselves. Our conversation reached out to something that relates to partners and ideal traits that we would need in the future. For a moment I thought deeply. I realized that the three of us had very different personalities. That’s why we would need different people. My friend said that she couldn’t treat someone the same way between her friend and her crush, that her friend couldn’t be her crush. If it was me, it would be possible to make my friend be my crush. Because I want a partner who also acts like my best friend. My friend was an expressive person and she used to show her feelings to the person she likes. Neither I used to hide my feelings for someone. Then they told me that I needed someone cheerful, expressive, and possessive. Then I said, what? Am I compatible with the possessive person? Whereas in the past, I had a bad experience with a possessive person. Was their guess untrue?

Every friendship can’t always be fine. Specifically the inner struggle in the friendship of three people. There will be times when one person will be marginalized, maybe unintentionally, or the situation calls for it. Especially if there is a large enough distance of knowledge between them. Even at the level of friendship, it takes people of the same level to be able to survive and be happy. Especially at the household level. It will be difficult to survive when your level is definitely different from your partner’s.

Move to a New House

Yesterday, I woke up late cz in the night before, I slept very late at night. I had indigestion that made me unable to sleep. Then in the afternoon, I was assisted by a trucking service to transport my things to a new house. I moved to another house with two of my friends. I’ve never been to this house before. I just trust my friend’s choice. Then when I got to this house, I was stunned. I have a little OCD with cleanliness -though not so with tidiness. I was stunned by the amount of dust left on various pieces of furniture in my room, from the cupboard, desk, to the window. But I didn’t mind, I was in a good mood to clean it up. Then I cleaned up and tied up all my things until the afternoon.

At the night, I scrolled through social media and saw photos of my friend that having a wedding that day. I was thinking -wow, she’s about to enter a new phase of life with someone. I’ve heard these sentences: you deserve to get married when you’re happy the way you are and are ready to share your happiness with others because in married life you cannot depend on your happiness to your partner. Hmm, I just haven’t fully accepted myself. I was just at the stage: longing for a partner to fill the loneliness. I thought I didn’t deserve to be in the marriage phase, for now. After that, after a few minutes, I talked to my friend for so long until we felt hungry and were going to cook. However, the stove near our room was not connected to gas yet. I once installed it at my parents’ house. But when I tried it now, I heard the sound of gas and the smell of gas wafted. Instantly I shivered and walked away. My friend was even more scared than me. Finally, we decided to go down to the first floor and used the stove in the kitchen on the first floor instead.

After eating we talked a bit. Our conversation came down to talking about Glenn Alinskie. Seeing how he behaved with his wife and children made our hearts warm. He did not hesitate to show his love and warmth to his wife and children. And watched the development of his two very smart and funny children. Then something crosses my mind for a moment. Everyone will wish for the same thing, which is happiness. But in the view of Islam, there is eternal happiness in heaven. Not infrequently, to achieve eternal happiness, humans are often tested with various kinds of tests, including children who are less funny or less obedient, etc. Therefore, if you experience it later, don’t feel insecure. In the end, there will be eternal happiness waiting if we can be patient.

COVID-19 Disease

I just wanna share my whole activities yesterday. I woke up early when the morning prayer was called, although after that I went back to sleep until noon. Then I have breakfast and do activities. But after that, I slept over the noon and woke for Ashar prayer. Then, I did jogging. At the night, I tried to visit a gadget store to sell my old phone. Surprisingly, I got the price of the phone beyond my expectations. Then, I and my sister bought some food for dinner. We talked pretty much to each other. My sister said her restlessness in her work matters. She told that she was at a crossroads between her current job and her dream job. But she also hasn’t made up her mind that what she wants. We talked about it for so long and I didn’t realize I was ignoring someone’s message. When I realized that, it was late at night and past midnight. I felt very sorry for him. He was the one who always helped me when I was in trouble and needed someone to listen to me. But when he needed me, I was rarely by his side. I felt remorseful. Then, to relieve this guilt, I listened to a celebrity’s podcast on youtube. He said that he recently got COVID-19 disease and made it through a critical period and a cytokine storm. Even though he adopted a healthy lifestyle, ate healthy food, and was diligent in exercising.

After that I realized, everybody can die anytime and anywhere. And the current research on COVID-19 was still inadequate and kept changing because this type of virus had only been discovered in the last two years. I thought, maybe I just got lucky. I did experience all mild COVID-19 symptoms. But I was lucky not to have a cytokine storm. Yes, I’m very lucky.

Seller and Buyer’s Point of Views

I met a lot of things today. My online shopping has arrived, but I found that my clothes didn’t fit on my body even though I have followed the written description. And the clothes also didn’t fit on my friend’s body whose size was below mine. But when I complained to the seller, they said that the clothes fit on the employee’s body with the same weight as mine. Then, I tried to negotiate but flunked.

At the night, I just read a book that talks about the art of speaking by author Oh Su-Hyang. She said that negotiations occur when both parties give and take each other and do not feel disadvantaged. She also explained the trick of high and low in negotiations, which begins with submitting a higher bid than desired, then lowered little by little towards the desired goal. Then I reflected, I found that what I did was not following the rules of good negotiation. First, when my groceries arrived, I opened them with high expectations that there would be no failure. Then when I met the reality, I couldn’t think clearly about what to do. All I want was to blame the seller and they had to replace the product. I also negotiated half-heartedly. Nor was I trying to temper my emotions by being patient.

Now I do understand the point of view between those two. From the seller’s point of view, they certainly don’t want to lose even if it’s only one percent. And from the buyer’s side, they don’t tolerate defects and they don’t want to spend more money and time on a product, which isn’t just sold in the store. I know those. But when faced with one of them, all I know can evaporate without a trace.

Limited Visibility

Langit biru bercorak jingga kala itu. Sebagian sinar matahari tertutup awan. Seorang gadis berdiri di balkon rumahnya. Ia sedang menikmati suasana senja sambil menghirup udara segar. Angin sepoi sepoi bertiup. Sejenak Ia menatap pemandangan sekitar. Pepohonan hijau di antara bangunan, atap rumah dengan berbagai bentuk dan warna, burung yang beterbangan, dan kendaraan yang berseliweran di jalanan.

“Menyenangkan sekali berada disini” pikirnya.
“Aku bebas melihat apapun yang ada disana, dan mereka bahkan tidak berpikir bahwa aku menyaksikannya dari sini”

Namun tentu saja, pandangannya terbatas oleh dinding, pohon, atap, jarak pandang, apapun itu. Begitulah manusia. Baik dari sudut pandang si gadis maupun orang orang yang berlalu lalang di jalanan. Atau dari sudut pandang makhluk lain, seperti burung yang beterbangan maupun pepohonan taman belakang. Pandangan mereka terbatas. Dinding mungkin tidak bermaksud menghalangi pandangan si gadis. Namun Ia tetap saja menghalangi. Si gadis bisa saja merasa kesal dan marah karena merasa kesenangannya terganggu. Tapi Ia memilih untuk tidak berfokus pada hal itu. Ia memilih menikmati suasana senja dengan damai, dengan hanya melihat apa yang bisa Ia lihat.

Memori Lama (2)

Di sudut ruangan, di atas dipan, seorang anak manusia duduk termangu. Hatinya gelisah, komat kamit memohon kepada Yang Kuasa. Pandangannya tak lepas dari ponsel di tangannya. Tak terasa sebutir kristal bening jatuh di sudut matanya. Beberapa saat yang lalu ia baik baik saja. Baru kembali dari hangout bersama teman teman. Lalu kabar itu datang, bagai petir yang menyambar ketika badai. Nun jauh di sana, ayahnya kritis, dan sedang dilarikan ke IGD. Iya, jauh. Sekarang ia sedang bekerja di lain kota. Sebelumnya selama beberapa waktu, ia liburan ke tempat orang tuanya. Hubungan mereka dari luar terlihat biasa saja selayaknya hubungan anak dan orang tua. Tetapi dalam hatinya, ia menyimpan dendam masa lalu. Selama ini luka itu ia kubur di lubuk hatinya yang terdalam. Karena satu dan lain hal, kembali menguak ke permukaan. Namun siapa sangka, kabar itu dapat mengubah banyak hal. Malam itu ia termenung. Tanpa bisa dicegah, memori masa lalu terputar sendiri dalam ingatannya. Senang dan sedih. Butir butir kristal bening tak kuasa ia bendung. Ia sadar ia begitu menyayangi ayahnya. Apalagi pasca berpulangnya sang ibu. Seiring berputarnya memori masa lalu, air matanya semakin deras. Hingga satu waktu hatinya berucap, memohon kepada Yang Kuasa, jika memang waktunya telah tiba, sungguh ia telah memaafkan ayahnya dan mudahkanlah ia pergi, namun jika ia masih diberi kesempatan untuk bersama ayahnya lebih lama, sungguh ia telah menerima semua masa lalu itu. Seketika seluruh dendamnya luruh, terbawa oleh derasnya air mata dan terhapus seiring ia membasuh wajahnya dengan air wudhu. Masa depan yang baru menantinya.

Janji

Judul: Janji
Penulis: Tere Liye
Penerbit: PT. Sabak Grip Nusantara
Tahun terbit: 2021
Jumlah halaman: 488 halaman

“Aku selalu bisa memilih dari sisi mana melihat situasi. Maka aku akan memilih melihat sisi baiknya saja.”

Buku ini menceritakan kisah perjalanan Tiga Sekawan yaitu Baso, Hasan, dan Kahar. Mereka merupakan murid Buya di salah satu sekolah agama. Ketiganya berasal dari latar belakang keluarga yang berbeda namun sama berantakannya. Baso besar di keluarga yang menelantarkan dirinya dan adiknya, ayahnya sering berganti pasangan kawin-cerai, ibunya merupakan pengguna narkoba dan sering keluar masuk penjara, ia dan adiknya sangat jarang diperhatikan oleh orangtua mereka. Hasan besar dalam keluarga yang berada, namun ayahnya ketahuan melakukan korupsi, dan sejak saat itu ibunya menderita depresi. Kahar juga besar dalam keluarga yang utuh, namun ayah ibunya terlalu sibuk dengan urusan masing masing, padahal ia anak tunggal. Karena kesamaan inilah mereka menjadi kompak dan sangat dekat. Suatu hari, akibat suatu kenakalan yang dilakukan oleh ketiganya, oleh Buya mereka ditugaskan untuk melakukan perjalanan dan mencari jejak seorang santri yang bernama Bahar, yang merupakan murid mendiang ayahnya dahulu. Bahar dikeluarkan dari sekolah tersebut setelah peristiwa kebakaran besar, yang menewaskan satu orang santri yang memiliki cacat fisik. Kisah lalu berjalan. Dengan menapak tilas kehidupan Bahar, mereka bertiga mendapat banyak sekali hikmah yang membuat mereka sadar akan arti kehidupan dan kasih sayang Tuhan.

“Kita selalu bisa memilih, bersabar atau marah, bersyukur atau ingkar. Bahkan saat situasi itu memang menyakitkan, boleh jadi tetap ada kebaikan disana. Dan orang orang yang bersabar dan bersyukur akan memilih mengingat hal hal yang baik dibandingkan yang menyakitkan.”

Dalam buku ini, pembaca seolah olah ikut menapak tilas bersama Tiga Sekawan. Dengan pemilihan kata yang apik serta deskripsi dan alur yang jelas, pembaca ikut merasakan emosi tokoh, dapat membayangkan latar kejadian, dan dapat memahami sebab akibat tokoh melakukan segala perbuatannya. Selain itu, buku ini banyak sekali nilai nilai religius islami, namun pembaca tidak terkesan digurui karena disisipi dengan begitu halus. Hal tersebut yang membuat buku ini berbeda dengan yang lain. Overall, buku ini sangat direkomendasikan untuk dibaca. Kata per kata disusun hingga tidak sadar telah berada di akhir cerita. Untukmu yang sedang merasa hampa, atau sedang bingung menentukan arah dan tujuan, atau ingin kembali ke jalan Tuhan, buku ini cocok untukmu:))

Longing (1)

Kemarin adalah hari lahirnya. Dia yang terkasih. Yang meskipun tak lagi bersama, tak akan terlupakan. Terima kasih telah lahir dan membawaku ke dunia. Terima kasih telah mengajarkanku banyak hal. Terima kasih atas kebahagiaan masa kecilku. Maaf aku pernah berusaha melupakanmu, tidak senantiasa mengenangmu, merasa baik baik saja ketika tidak mengenal kehidupanmu. Apakah kau bangga padaku? Maaf aku tumbuh menjadi wanita yang seperti ini, saat ini. Tapi aku tidak akan menyerah. Seperti waktu itu, ketika kau menuntunku ke atas panggung, lantas kau menghilang dan melihatku dari kejauhan. Come in, come and hug me. I won’t give up with my life.

Confluence (1)

Dalam suatu perkumpulan, kau akan bertemu dengan berbagai macam tipe manusia. Akan ada dia yang dianugerahi dengan karakter dominan yang vokal. Ketika dia berbicara, semua mata tertuju padanya. Ntah karena suaranya yang cukup menggelegar atau karena auranya dipenuhi dengan semangat yang mempengaruhi jiwa sekelilingnya.

Ada dia yang mempunyai cita cita besar, dan dia yang realistis. Ada dia yang hanya bicara saat butuh, dan dia yang dibutuhkan untuk bicara. Ada dia yang otaknya lebih cepat memproses dari pada lidahnya, dan dia yang dengan bicara lah otaknya lebih cepat memproses. Ada dia yang berani untuk mencoba, dan dia yang mencoba untuk berani. Ada jiwa jiwa yang tidak sadar tertarik satu sama lain. Ada dia yang terlihat low profile, namun bagi sebagian lain dia sangat menginspirasi.

Semua itu mengingatkanku, apapun branding mu di media sosialmu, bagaimanapun orang lain mengenalmu, yang paling bisa dipercaya adalah yang dihadapi saat ini. Mau low profile atau high profile, mereka juga manusia, merasakan apa yg dirasakan manusia pada umumnya, melewati hari yang sama, makan hal yang sama, masih mempunyai perilaku nyeleneh yang sama, hanya mungkin pola pikirnya yang berbeda. Hei, pola pikir itu sangat menentukan hidupmu. Kau berpikir bahwa dia manusia biasa atau manusia tanpa celah dan cela, sikapmu akan berbeda.

Apapun yang kau hadapi ke depan, positive thinking lah! Memang tidak semua manusia mempunyai privilege dikenal banyak orang, selalu bertutur kata terstruktur dan berpikiran sistematis. Namun jiwa jiwa dengan frekuensi yang sama akan berkumpul. And it’s more than bless. Thank you for a few amazing days, my friends:))

Today’s Fidgetiness

I have thought about anything today. I do worry about my future. Can I finish my duty to graduate as an engineer? But my willingness to expert in information technology not that strong and not that passionate. Then, I read some articles and scroll IG posts. I found that the difference between love and hate is very subtle. Netizens are very easy to judge. Today they admire you, they glorify you, but tomorrow they scorn you. They don’t even really care about what they did cause so harsh to you. I also found the conglomerates are increasingly incessant in building their version of paradise, which makes the disparity between rich and poor even more obvious. Besides, I found that Korean culture has come across the world, especially in our country. Posts and articles about their artist’s behaviour often become the top trends on every social media. Then, I also found that there are a few people who still try, using their magic connection, and never give up on engaging others in the Islamic version of kindness. Yeah, honestly I am confused about this diversity of information. And I am an overthinking girl. Where should I start? Can I conquer this? I do realise that the phrase “if not us, who else?” cannot apply here and now. Kindness always wins out in the end. However, are we going to participate or just keep quiet? In this era, where information is freely milling about, it can be either positive or negative. It such a complicated era. But, I do believe the rewards will be equal in the hereafter. Never give up!