I know that we should not depend on other people. I know that as we get older, our circle of friends gets smaller. I know that I shouldn’t expect that the world will revolve around you and always understand you. I know that I make friends with a lot of people in this world and I could take advantage of any of them. I know but I still feel lonely. I still don’t know who to contact when these complicated feelings come. Do you know? You are the first person I remember when I need help. But I have to restrain myself. Because the more I call you, the more I depend on you, and I will be harder to leave you. It’s a complicated feeling I’m feeling right now.
That’s enough about my feelings. Now about my thoughts. I love stories. If for some people, a story is just a story and a story is just an entertainment. For me the story is more powerful than that. Through stories I can understand how humans think and behave and also the causes and effects of these thoughts and behaviors. From the story, I also learned to sharpen my intuition and empathy for other people. Maybe I’m just not good with words and rhetoric. But I can understand the situation and feelings of each character in a story. And I grew up to be a woman who does not easily blame others but also does not easily trust others. The saddest part is that if a conflict occurs and involves myself in it, I become frustrated. I can’t blame anyone, including myself, but I’m also not someone who comes up with solutions easily. I need help with a solution, but this me -who doesn’t trust other people easily- doesn’t know whom I should ask. That’s a snippet of a picture of myself. My friend once told me that the character you don’t like in a movie is the one who represents a part of you. Maybe she’s right. If I could, I want to be a person who can understand the picture of a situation like I am now, but I also want to be able to take advantage of my connections with people around me, and I can think of strategic solutions to get out of difficult situations. Could I?
Diary-Stories 